But wait, there really is a whole lot more...
…as we post our exciting new blog every Tuesday and Friday morning!
By Tommy Zarzecki
Welcome one and all to the inaugural posting of TeleBrands the Blog! Some of you may not be as familiar with our company name as you are with our amazingly cool products like the Ped Egg, Stick Up Bulb, Jupiter Jack, the Windshield Wonder, and a host of problem solving miracles from the original As Seen on TV company!
But hey… just maybe you know our founding father and grand poobah, the famed Infomercial King, himself, Mr. AJ Khubani! While AJ has been bringing the world these off-the-wall products for close to three decades, his popularity exploded this past year with his appearances on the hit Discovery Channel show, Pitchmen, starring Anthony Sullivan (the English gent) and the late Billy Mays (the loud dude with the black beard, who drove you freakin nuts until you finally picked up the damned phone and spent your $19.95!)
This business of direct response is a crazy one – and I should know, as I worked as a graphic designer and copywriter on AJ’s very first advertisements some 27 years ago! He was a young, brash kid, who walked into our ad agency with a box of wacky gadgets, and dreams of becoming a go-zillionaire. We became good friends, and yes indeed, he became a massive success. The guy was relentless in his goal to conquer the world of direct, and that is exactly what he’s done. Like I said, they don’t call him the “King” for nothing.
The funniest thing about this business is that people just love to make fun of the products, yet, each year they purchase them by the millions! Look at the Ped Egg, for instance… I mean it’s a mini cheese grater for your feet! You can laugh all you want, but 30 million of these fabulous foot filers have been sold, and that’s one hell of a lot of people walking around with some pretty happy heels. Everybody ranked on Billy Mays, the obnoxious guy who burst onto your TV screen and demanded that you buy his damned OxiClean, but the man was a master at selling, and when Billy did the pitch, sales went through the roof.
This business is rich in nostalgia with so much amazing history, featuring pioneers like Ron Popeil who have led the way with a bevy of stuff you didn’t know that you really needed. Remember the Veg-O-Matic? It sliced and diced, making mounds of shredded cabbage, and as a kid, I didn’t know what the hell julienne fries were, but I had to have one of those freakin’ things! So many of these memorable products have infested the air waves: the Thighmaster, Ginsu Knives, George Foreman’s Grill, Bow Flex, Magic Bullet, Ab Rocker, Nordic Track, Shamwow, the Flowbee, and who on earth can forget the infamous Chia Pet!
Now TeleBrands and AJ Khubani are leading the world of direct response and it’s about time we had a blog of our very own! I’ll be posting every Tuesday and Friday, and I can promise you that this will be entertaining, informational, and one heck of a lot of fun! And as a guy who has lived behind the scenes in this insane industry, I can tell you that there is so much more to it than you could have ever imagined. There’s an inventor with a great story behind each of these products, so many in fact, that TeleBrands is holding their own Inventors Days where people come in and pitch their ideas to AJ, himself! I personally sat through two straight days of seventy inventors and their pitches, and for every great idea, there’s a boatload of unbelievable stinkers! Some are funny, some are sad, and some are just ill-conceived, pathetic crapola… and I’ll share it all in my upcoming posts!
So I invite you to join me each week as I yak it up about our wacky world. Sign up and post comments if you’d like, or just sit back, read and enjoy. Okay, we won’t solve the recession, world hunger, or cure any nasty diseases, but we will have an awful lot of fun.
Cause all I’ve got to say is…
…but wait, there’s more…
Later all,
- Tommy Z
TeleBrands The BLOG
Tags: $19.95, AJ Khubani, Ambervision, Anthony Sullivan, As Seen on TV, Billy Mays, Bottle Top, But wait there's more, Discovery Channel, Doggy Steps, EZ Combs, George Foreman Grill, Heel Tatsic, Infomercial King, Inventor, Inventors Day, Jupiter Jack, OxiClean, Ped Egg, Pedi Paws, Pitchmen, Ron Popeil, Sham Wow, Shoes Under, Stick up bulb, Telebrands, The View, Tommy Zarzecki, Windshield Wonder
I have to get a George Foreman Grill. But can it core an apple, oh chef of the future?
I think you seem like the Ped Egg type, to me. Think about it… grate your cheese and smooth you feet! What’s there even to think about?!!!
That might taste good if I crush some grapes for wine beforehand.
Cool first blog, people! I love these products and have followed AJ Khubani on Pitchmen. Too bad about Billy. Good luck, this looks like a lot of fun and I will be reading!
Damn Zarzecki! Didn’t realize you hobnobbed with the bigwigs of the TV bidness….
Nice gig, but please fix _he first sentence of the blog post, make us cigarsmokers proud.
Ped egg….. 0.o
i’m definitely a ped egg fan. i like the before and after feet pics, especially the ones with the strappy high heels on the tv commercial. i suggest you guys do a pictorial on the ped egg feet models.
God only knows how many nights I’ve awakened from a sound sleep on the sofa, where the wife left me, with the TV going. I’d start surfing around the channels looking for something better than some old movie from 1948, when I stumbled on one of these informercials. Even if it was something that I had no interest in buying, I often started watching, sometimes with morbid fascination, wondering who on earth would buy this stuff.
I especially liked the “but wait, there’s more” parts. Then I was hooked into seeing what else you could get thrown in for only $19.95.
And I actually bought something for the wife recently on late nite TV. Can’t say what it is, because it’s a Christmas present. But I finally broke down and did it.
Looking forward to reading the new blog!
Hey ZMan!
Nice gig here. I hope all goes well with this and you continue to proliferate this blog with your “Man of Men” insight. I look forward to reading more of your contributions my Friend.
hey tommyz, best of luck to you and the new gig. i am one of your biggest fans!!!
i was the infomercial king until the damn ftc banned me from selling anything on the air.
tommyz, i love you more than mere words can express!!!
Wow… Blogs can get personal sometimes.
tommy, i knew you had some loving fans out there, but this garfiend guy sounds like he could be dangerous. you should sprinkle some ped egg footdust outside your front door to repel him if he shows up at your house.
I’m feeling the love…
I’d rather have a chia pet.
Congrats on the new gig Tommy
Tommy, AJ owes me.
I bought one of his Jupiter Jacks (two actually), after a few months they sent me a card telling me I could either return the card and cancel the order or continue to wait.
I sent the card in and asked them to cancel the order.
I got the order two days later.
It did not come with an adapter to fit my Samsung phone.
I called and after twenty minutes of one computer generated process after another I was disconnected. I thought I had made it though the process so I let it go.
Two or three weeks later I get a card in the mail telling me they can’t get the required adaptor. So I call back and first thing I do is ask them for an 800 number which is not listed on any paperwork.
So I get that and call the gal right back and she kindly orders me another adapter, So two weeks later I get another card, no adapter available….
So,… now what am I gonna do with this useless piece of junk?
AJ’s sales staff/customer service sucks big time.
Okay,.. I know my first mistake was buying the damn thing, but Billy had me from jump street, what can I say… lol
Glenn
Garfiend is way more dangerous than you can even imagine. (Just trying to keep up your image, Fiend).
Congrats on the new gig Z.
Great first blog…I look forward to reading more!
If I wake up on the couch at 3AM and see ZMan’s face hawking products, I swear I’ll never drink another drop of booze again! LOL
Congrats on the new gig, Z. You NEED to be the pitchman on TV. This can work!
As an animal trainer, I have used Pedi Paws exclusively. The
protection it provides, especially when training felines, has provided me with the security required to continue working
with dangerous animals and not become such as my name
suggests…
Say… Are you any relation to Claude Balls?
There’s a great article on AJ and Telebrands in yesterday’s NY Times…
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/16/nyregion/16inventors.html?_r=1&hpw
I would like to make it clear that I am not a stalker. The post appearing above was not made by me. I don’t even LIKE TommyZ.
Come on Garfiend, like and love are just a hair apart from one another.
Are other areas of the body, particularly the female body, properly suited to accommodate the healing powers of the marvelous Ped Egg?
Also, should you decide to extend this potent brand name to other pedicure-related products by marketing something to take care of toenails, I urge to to not use the name Ped O’ File.
I’ve searched the site for info on the Pocket Diaper Steamer and the Turnip Twaddler, but I can’t find them. Please tell me you have not discontinued these fine products. I haven’t twaddled a turnip since the divorce, when my ex-wife was awarded all my Turnip Twaddlers in lieu of custody of the children. As for the Pocket Diaper Steamer, I’ve decided I want a second one so I don’t have to alternate steaming diapers and making my super-healthy–and tasty!–steamed veggie medley. Thank you for your kind consideration and all your wonderful dream machines!!!!.
Congrats on the launch of the new site, I wish you only the best. Looking forward to seeing the Zman on TV. Take care and again, best of luck.
James
maninblack
OK Tommy, You duped me into posting here, so can you at least get me a discount on a Thighmaster? I’ve got more cheese down there than Wisconsin.
TIM, buddy…TMI…
I wanna see Tommy hawking alongside George Forman!
but um… Longstem, the Ped Egg isn’t a delicate “healing” tool to be used on body parts other than feet…
I’m thinking I need that Windshield Wonder thing. Good work outta A.J. building up an empire. Zman needs to hawk something on the same program as George Foreman. Then let Foreman put on the gloves and give him a beatdown. Now that is good TV watchin’!
Says you!
Very cool, Zman.
I see more As Seen On TV stuff in the stores than I do on TV. That might be because I usually have a hard time staying up past 10 pm. lol
The inventors idea sounds like it could be a riot. Looking forward to having some laughs here, and, who knows, maybe someone will end up with a Ped Egg in their stocking this Christmas.
Benny, TeleBrands actually sells infinitely more stuff via retail, then on TV, ie; CVS and Target.
“TeleBrands actually sells infinitely more stuff via retail, then on TV, ie; CVS and Target.”
That’s because there are infinitely more people awake during the hours that CVS & Target are open than there are at 3:00 AM watching TV.
That Savant dude sounds like some kind of deranged shopper/stalker.
Z man:
Just caught your recent blog; can’t wait to get a Windshield Wonder …saw it on tv-sounds great.
Tommy,
Keep up the great work!
Perhaps you can ask AJ something for me. Why did Billy Mays have to yell in all of his commercials?
Seriously, it was nothing but annoying. The only thing I felt like doing when I heard his voice blasting through the speaker was to make me change the station or mute the volume.
Was it anything more than his “shtick”? His hook? His angle? Couldn’t he come up with anything better than being known as the, “loud, obnoxious guy from the TV advertisements”?
What does AJ have to say about Billy Mays and why he yelled like that? I would be interested in hearing what he has to say.
Thanks Bro!
Bryan
Used Bottle Tops this weekend awsome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bottle Tops rule!
I may start using a Ped Egg for cheese… and the Graty for my calloused hooves.